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Image by Towards the Moon Photography via May & George’s Modern Outdoor Hunter Valley Wedding

Whether your wedding is a formal affair with a strict run sheet in place or a laid-back party for your closest friends and family, when it comes to making a speech, there are a few things you need to include. Five minutes is a good ballpark to aim for, so here are four things you should mention in that time.

Thank your parents and in-laws
You and your new spouse likely wouldn’t be where you are or who you are without your parents. Start with the in-laws, and not just for putting on a great day (if they did). Thank them for their acceptance, support and for raising such a wonderful person. If your speech is following up one made by your partner’s father or parent, thank them for their words and advice. Call out specifics if they’ve said anything exceptional. It might not seem like a big deal to you but it’s something they’ll remember forever.

Next up are your parents. Remember, not everyone in the room will know them, so an anecdote from your childhood can help establish some context and common ground. Again, don’t just thank them for their help with the wedding; thank them for their love, support and values.

Thank everyone else
You’re going to need a list here. Thank the guests for coming, particularly those that have travelled to attend. Mention those who couldn’t make it. Thank those who did something special in the lead-up to and on the day (did your aunt go to the flower markets at 4.30 in the morning? Did cousin Billy help put up the marquee?)

Thank the bridesmaids or your partner’s attendents for all of their help (a splash of ‘don’t they look gorgeous’ flattery never goes astray) and your groomsmen or entourage for all their support. The key here is in delivery. Just because there may be a long list of people to thank doesn’t mean it should be read as a roll call. Be genuine in your gratitude.

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Image by Justin Aaron via Edwina & Matthew’s Modern Mindaribba House Wedding

Put your life partner in focus
Talk about your new wife or partner. How did you meet? What was the proposal like? Most importantly, why did you ask them to marry you? This is your chance to tug at the heartstrings of everyone in the room. From experience, the groom’s speech is usually the one that has me shedding a tear or few. So keep it heartfelt, but not too mushy. Don’t worry about shedding a few tears or taking a strategic pause if you want to keep it together – everyone in the room is here to support you.

On the flipside, now is not the time to make any jokes at your new spouse’s expense. If you want to stay married, it’s wise to steer clear of all mentions of exes.

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Image by Oy Photography via Kelly & Sidney’s Romantic Spring Garden Wedding

Raise a glass
This doesn’t mean raising your own glass pre-speech to build a little Dutch courage. Stay sober, coherent and confident. Before you begin, have a glass of water ready in case you need to clear your throat and a full glass of something bubbly or special ready to raise a toast to your new partner and life. Salut!

Ms Chinoiserie Says: Great advice – particularly about the length; anything longer than five minutes tends to lose its charm!