A surprise wedding can be so much fun but it is a lesson in logistics to pull it off successfully.

The core element of success is obviously creating the surprise in the first place. If 99% of the guests there know a wedding is about to take place, it technically isn’t a surprise!

So how do you ensure that all the people you want are there, your guests arrive on time and not fashionably late and the transition from informal gathering to wedding procession is managed smoothly rather than chaotically.

Chris and Danni were the perfect couple to plan a surprise wedding – they are creative, outgoing and well organized folk who like nothing better than to gather family and friends together for a festive occasion. They pulled their surprise off to the tears, laughter and cheers of their astonished guests in a moment that will live with them a lifetime.

However bride Danni did say “when we were planning our surprise wedding, we hunted high and low for surprise wedding advice but we couldn’t find anything very specific or helpful. We were so pleased at how it all came together in the end, our party was brilliant and we were still dancing sometime after 4am!”

As a celebrant, I have found the core success factors of a surprise wedding are:

• Finding creative ways to ensure immediate family know they really need to be there without giving the game away,
• Ensuring the guests arrived on time (not fashionably late thus missing the ceremony) and
• Planning the key cues that transition the guests from party/picnic/dinner to being active witnesses at the ceremony.

In this instance, all the planning paid off to create a unique and magical moment.

To facilitate the surprise, Chris and Danni chose New Year’s Eve 2011 and their engagement as a good excuse to throw a party and get everyone together. They picked a location high up in the hills to watch the setting sun go down on 2011 (thus giving guests a non negotiable arrival time) and used the styling skills of Her Hand Picked Harvest to create a casual, vintage and very cool party atmosphere.

Photographer Nicolle Versteeg mingled with guests initially capturing party snaps, while I tried to look less like a marriage celebrant and more like one of the band member’s chicks (trying to channel my inner groupie – not an easy task!) to avoid being caught out. The bride donned a gorgeous black party dress and mingled with guests putting a few suspicious guests off the scent immediately.

We planned the start of engagement speeches as the cue to gather people around and then managed the transition with a dramatic turn that featured three flowergirls running through the crowd with balloons and ribbon creating an impromptu aisle!

The bride then entered in a dramatically different white frock to Ingrid Michaelson’s The Way I am, sung by the band, enabling us to step seamlessly into a wedding ceremony that was filled with all the energy, laughter, tears and love that a successful surprise wedding can bring.

Other successful surprise weddings that I have had the honour of officiating have included using the Groom’s milestone birthday as a ruse or a family Christmas picnic get together as means to gather folk. A singing groom followed by a celebrity guest singer helped set the transition from 40^th birthday to wedding procession. While at the family picnic I arrived instead of Santa to cue the ceremony arrival and the bride’s car. In both these occasions, two fly in siblings had to be told of the surprise but they managed to keep their lips sealed!

Photography by Nicolle Versteeg. You can see more images of Chris and Danni’s surprise wedding at her blog.

Ms Gingham says: Imagine keeping this secret while planning the whole thing, not being able to talk to people about your plans or get anyone’s advice! On the plus side… no one interfering or telling you what you should be doing! Almost like eloping but not! Brilliant if you can pull it off and keep your cool!

About Danicia Dutry Ceremonies: One of life’s most amazing milestones is to find a partner to share your life. Creating a bespoke ceremony requires exceptional planning, facilitation and people skills. It is my pleasure to offer this service to couples embarking on their life journey. I have worked in professional communications and research roles for over 15 years; including senior positions with some of Australia’s leading companies. I ensure my professional experience forms the base of each ceremony but add the warmth and magic that are the essential key ingredients to creating a wonderful ceremony that enables your friends and family to feel an active part.

Read more by Danicia Dutry Ceremonies here.

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Image via Not Just a Honeymoon

Diann Valentine, host of the WeTV show “I Do Over” speaks at many elite wedding professional conferences, some in the most exclusive resorts in the world, and at a recent gathering of inspired wedding experts, Diann was quoted as saying (and I’m paraphrasing here!) “I ask for everything I can, and I’ll take what they give me.”

That gem is great advice not just for wedding experts but for you, the bride and groom, as well. You have tremendous negotiating power to get freebies and add-ons from wedding vendors who like you… which means you’re using the proverbial honey to attract sweet rewards. For example, as your friendly rapport grows with your florist, it’s smart to ask for any overflow materials your floral designer has in his or her workrooms. The designer gets to clear those glass vases out of storage, and you get free centerpiece vases.

On your honeymoon, tell the hotel’s booking agent and concierge that you’re newlyweds, and watch how fast you receive free strawberries and champagne in your room, prime seating at dinner, free scuba or snorkeling equipment, tickets to a breakfast sail, and more. Want a better room when you check in? All you have to do is ask. Countless brides and grooms have asked for an upgrade to a suite or beachfront room, and — if it’s not booked — they get to move right into it.

Ms Gingham says: It can never hurt to ask but like Sharon points out, never be aggressive or annoying and above all, don’t take anything for granted.

About Sharon: Sharon Naylor is the author of over 35 wedding books, including her newest: “Bridesmaid on a Budget”, “Smart Guide to Wedding Weekends”, and “1001 Ways to Save Money and Still have a Dazzling Wedding”. Her two books for the mothers of the bride and groom are bestsellers, and she has appeared on such top shows as Good Morning America, ABC News, Lifetime, Inside Edition and more – sharing tips and insider secrets to help you plan your dream wedding on a budget, personalized to your love story. Visit her site Sharon Naylor for more on her books, free worksheets and appearances. She lives in Morristown, NJ with her husband Joe and is at work on her next two wedding books.

Read more by Sharon here.

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Dear Bridesmaids,

Your dresses are gorgeous. You look beautiful!  So put your heads up and smile, as you come down the aisle. We all want to see your faces…

That’s it. That’s much better. Now the photographer can see your face. And so can we.

Now slow down, don’t rush down the aisle. We aren’t in a hurry. No, you don’t need to do the old, one step, two feet together walk, either. Makes you feel very awkward, doesn’t it? Just walk, relaxed and happy, and come down the aisle.

Excellent. Now, take your places. First bridesmaid, you stand at the end. The next one, on her left, and so on. Now, leave a nice gap for the bride.

Ok, she’s here! Now help her fix up her dress. She looks incredible. There’s a train on that dress. No, don’t stretch it out to the side. Then you will have to stand too far away from her and that looks awful in the photos. (and someone will step on it – guaranteed) Just take the train and move it around the side, and towards the front. There… that’s better, now you can squeeze in close to her and no-one will step on it.

Now, take the bride’s flowers before she does her vows, pass her a tissue if she – or the groom – are a little teary, and shoo that fly away from her face if you can.

The ceremony is over, and the newlyweds are walking down the aisle. Pair up with the groomsmen, but wait. Let them get almost to the end of the aisle, before you start to walk down it. And smile! It’s nearly time to celebrate.

You can have fun, now, but don’t forget your jobs aren’t quite over until the day is done. You are important. The bride loves you. You love her. It’s her big day. All you have to do today is be ready to help her. Help organise the groups for photos. Keep an eye on the bride’s makeup – and steal her away for a quick touch up, now and again. Be smiley. Be friendly. Stash a tissue or two for emergencies, and hang onto her lipstick. Be helpful – if guests ask you for assistance, help them. Don’t have too much to drink – its soooo not a good look. Remember, there are cameras everywhere.

That’s not so hard, is it?

Maybe the bride is your sister, your best friend, or an old friend. In ten years time, I hope you will all remember today – and how much fun it was. Enjoy!

Photography by Jonas Peterson

Ms Gingham says: This has got to be one of the best posts on advice for bridesmaids that I’ve read. Thanks for the Wisdom Robyn!

Robyn says: “I am quite possibly the happiest marriage celebrant in Sydney! Weddings are my thing! Nothing makes me happier than a really happy couple – every time.”

Read more wise words by Robyn here.

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Engagement film of Daniel and Tabitha

With engagement shoots and videos becoming more and more popular, here are some things to think about when planning your shoot from cinematographer Amy Nelson-Blain.

Engagement sessions are always a lot of fun, they are a great opportunity to practice being in front of a camera before the wedding day and have a special keepsake of those moments when you were first engaged. It is also nice to be able to share the session with your friends and family before your wedding day, or even share it at your wedding reception! If your engagement photographer or cinematographer is also going to be at your wedding, this is a great time to get to know your photographer or cinematographer and learn how they practice their craft before your big day.

When planning your engagement session, it’s always  best to start off by searching for some inspiration. This could come from other engagements that you have seen, a song, or even a poem. I usually ask most couples to think about what they enjoy doing together, like bush walking, bike riding, shopping, cafes, going to the beach, singing, painting, anything! This often leads to gathering up inspiration for an idea of what we could do for the photographs or filming, by thinking about what locations to use and what props, if any.

Another very important aspect of the engagement session is your love story. How did you meet? Why did you fall in love with your partner? What makes your partner so special? Answering these questions can be very helpful for the photographer or cinematographer to learn about how the two of you interact with each other and how closely bonded you are.

Once you have decided on a concept the next step is to think about whether you will need a team of people. Some couples like to have a stylist and hair and make-up artists organised so that they do not have to worry about those extra details themselves. Others like to keep it simple and just spend an intimate day with their photographer or cinematographer and themselves.
Working with a larger team of people can be a bit daunting for the couple initially. These nervous feelings quickly vanish however when there are lots of laughs and general fun being had by all. The couple is always encouraged and made the focus of the day.

The major obstacle, if you are planning an outdoor shoot, that you will face is the weather. If you expect to be shooting on a beautiful clear sunny day with a soft, cool breeze and this does not work out just remember to go with the flow and have fun! Find an alternative sheltered area for some intimate photos then grab your gumboots and go out and splash and dance in the rain!

As for the lovely Daniel and Tabitha, here are some details that helped to get to know them a little better:

Daniel and Tabitha met at a Church in Bondi Junction. Daniel noticed Tabitha immediately due to the luscious ”fro” that she was exhibiting. Having being a young lad with curly locks himself, he was mightily impressed! They had encountered each other in brief conversation a few times, but Tabitha was quite timid and at the time Daniel thought she was too young and hip for him.

Ironically 3 months later Daniel and Tabitha’s mother’s went for a coffee together and were discussing the potential of their two children being together! Finding this all very interesting Daniel thought to himself “Why not!?” and decided to ask Tabitha to meet him for a casual drink.

From that moment on, the two of them were constantly texting and emailing each other and their love began to blossom.

A proposal at an Airstrip, which had a 180 degree view of over 40 kilometres looking north toward Mudgee sealed their engagement. We shot this engagement video at Bangor Park in Coogee on a gorgeous warm spring afternoon. Apart from the occasional myna bird swooping down at us from the trees, it all went as planned! The weather was perfect and we could not have asked for a better sunset.

Ms Gingham says: Great advice and a beautiful video as an example. Thanks to Amy for sharing this with us today.

About Amy Nelson-Blain: Our goal is to create breathtaking, elegant, contemporary, cinematic wedding films. We create a personalized and handcrafted film for each of our clients to tell your unique story through timeless emotion and style, and strive to capture the essence of your wedding day as it naturally unfolds; highlighting the best moments.

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 Image by Milena Dekic

Being a celebrant isn’t a glamorous job. It’s really, really hard work.

I do know I’m at the bottom of the wedding food chain – at least until the Big Day itself comes along. Mine is one of the few jobs at a wedding that isn’t pretty. It isn’t tangible. I can’t show you the beautiful photos I take, or the gorgeous blooms I arrange. I can’t dress you in layers of silk, or do your makeup to turn you into a princess. I can’t prove it. You have to believe me.

Being a celebrant is not about making a wedding look good, it’s all about how it feels. I’m in charge of making the most important part of your Big Day wonderful, romantic, real and gloriously, delightfully happy. Its about setting the tone for the rest of the day. Its about  celebration. And that’s a big thing.

My beautiful brides and gorgeous grooms gave me back a bit (a lot, really) of that happy feeling, this month, when they voted so hard for me that I won the Australian Bridal Industry Academy Award for Marriage Celebrants, NSW. First place! I was so surprised……(and really, really chuffed!).

They gushed about ceremonies that made their mothers cry and their friends laugh. They wrote that they couldn’t imagine a moment more perfect, or more fun, or anyone else to be there for them. They rated me as the best part of their day, over and over again. They blogged and voted and tweeted and facebooked how happy they were. (And in this age of online-everything, sharing is so, so good!).

I was gobsmacked that after only 3 years as a celebrant (and about 260 weddings) I had made so many people happy.

Me? Just doing my thing. With a smile and lots of laughter and my hugs all-round mantra and my determination to give every single one of them the most amazing moment they ever imagined…

This fairy-godmother just can’t wait for the next year of beautiful moments. Because that’s the bit makes all the hard work worthwhile. I’m inspired all over again.

Ms Gingham says: It’s all about the love and it’s so nice to see a bit of that love coming back to someone who works so hard to make every one of her weddings special. Congratulations Robyn from all of us here at Polka Dot Bride. xx

Robyn says: “I am quite possibly the happiest marriage celebrant in Sydney! Weddings are my thing! Nothing makes me happier than a really happy couple – every time.”

Read more wise words by Robyn here.

Tags http://www.robynpattison.com.au/ | Ceremony Wisdom, Industry News, Wisdom | Comments 0