It’s that time of the year when we reflect on the year that has been and start painting the year ahead, all whilst trying to find more room to stash visiting relatives. In light of all of this reflection and imagination, I present my own (quite possibly ridiculous) wedding ceremony trends 2015 predictions.
Gatsby is now dated, Back to the Future is hot.
In 2013 and 2014 we saw vintage and Gatsby themed styling take over the Pinterest boards of many but in 2015 they’re fading. Instead, weddings in 2015 will be taking their stylish cues from 2015-set movie, Back to the Future II.
The bridal party will enter on hoverboard as the bride gets out of her flying limousine and is escorted down the aisle by the Doc and all of the fashion for the day will be automated.
It’s going to be great, trust us.
Grace may love lace but hessian is in in.
Although the lace loving community will always be strong, the bag-of-potatoes look will start gaining traction. When Miley Cyrus marries Patrick Schwarzenegger dressed in a sweetheart hessian piece by Vera Wang you’ll look back at this and cry that you didn’t do it first.
Hi, my name is Caveman, I’ll be your waiter tonight.
Paleo and plant-based diets are all the rage at the moment so expect to see caveman-inspired menus more and more in 2015. Just so we’re all on the right track, let it be on the record that the Paleolithic groom was allergic to quinoa, amaranth, and antioxidants, whilst you would regularly see our Stone Age brother at his local eatery chowing down on a pulled-pork burger drowning in slaw, topped off by a cronut and a beer.
Drinks to sleep with the fishes.
Mason jars will be ancient history in 2015 as bartenders around the wedding universe take the “what crazy thing can we put a drink in now?” craze into the aquarium. Fishbowls will be the number one liquid carrying device. Bearded men will be mixing cocktails like the Goldfish (gin, vermouth, tonic water and orange peel) and serving them in Nemo housing and you’ll enjoy it.
May the force be tied neatly around your neck.
The entire men’s fashion industry will be distracted this year by the impending release of the new Star Wars movie. Upon realising that they should release something new you’ll start seeing glow-stick inspired lightsaber neck ties.
Invites finally go electric.
In an effort to get guest lists down to an acceptable size the paper wedding invitation will not be sent in 2015. Facebook invites instead will take their place as the “save the date of choice”. This smart move will ensure that only your parents and that odd girl from school will be the only guests in attendance.
Social media savvy ceremonies.
Social media is no stranger at the 2014 wedding, but in the new year the selfies and hashtagging will go to a totally new level when your celebrant doesn’t even look up from his iPhone during the ceremony, instead conducting the entire proceeding over Snapchat. Your friends will take photos and only post them on Ello to ensure that your wedding day privacy is respected.
The union will be officially recognised by a #celebrantselfie and then we’ll all follow that Facebook invite to the reception while your photographer fiddles with their VSCO filters to try and get the best shot with that setting sun.
Capturing the memories
Photographers and videographers in 2015 will be forced to offer a modern set of memories for the digital-savvy couple. Your wedding photos will go viral on Reddit hours after the ceremony and be made downloadable from People.com the next morning. Expect to pay a little more for photos without a TMZ watermark.
Wedding filmmakers will be ditching the steadycam and tripod that heralded the recent trends of stable video, for the realistic and retro handycam-shot-by-my-uncle look.
Wedding venues go green
Finally, in the International Year of Light, we’ll see Golf Courses moving their maintenance shed into the function room and their function space into the maintenance shed. Heralding in a new post-warehouse wedding venue era, the golf course maintenance building will be the popular place to say I do in 2015.
With whipper snippers artistically hung on the walls and grease sparingly smeared on the floor and lawn clippings scattered in place of rose petals, the green-wedding-venue is going to bloom in the new calendar year. You’ll know you’ve picked a great venue if a fierce-looking, sweaty man, walks into the wedding venue while you’re inspecting it, looks at you, shakes his head, and just walks out again muttering swear words under his breath.
Ms Gingham says: Tee hee. Nice work Josh.
Joshua Withers is a pretty cool marriage celebrant, according to his local barista and wife. If you click this link the wonders of the Internet will magically transfer you to his own website which even has a photo of him on it! marriedbyjosh.com