Mr Polka always told me he thought if the groom had to get up and speak then so did the bride. Here’s 10 tips for making the wedding speech easier!

Photo by Anne Ruthmann

1. Practice! Practice will make you feel more relaxed- you’ll know what’s coming next and deliver your words more confidently. Use a mirror so you can check your facial expressions. gestures and posture.
2. Write it down- Write down the key points on index cards or paper. It’s very reassuring to know you have backup
3. Thanks- Thank your guests for coming to share in the day- especially those who have traveled long distances, thank the bridal party and your families. If it starts to feel like an acceptance speech, break it up with stories and a little humour.
4. Be as romantic and sentimental as you like about your wife! (and don’t forget to mention her- it does happen!)
5. Have fun with it! Include a joke, a funny story. This is your speech and do whatever you can to help yourself relax
6. Keep sober- Keep your alcoholic drinks to a minimum until after the speech. A drunk groom does not a good look make during a speech
7. Keep it snappy- don’t let the speech get too drawn out. You have a lot to say but you need to keep it snappy so guests don’t fall asleep! At the same time don’t rush so fast through the speech that guests will wonder where it went. Take your time with words.
8. Make sure the speech content is suitable for all ages. Keep the naughty jokes for the buck’s party!
9. Toast! It is traditional for the groom to toast the bridesmaids, but you might just want to raise a toast to your lovely new wife, or to family and friends!
10. Remember most of all, you are amongst people who care for you and will not judge you if you get the words wrong or if you spill your wine accidentally during the speech. So relax and enjoy the moment!

Wendy Hartigan is the event planner behind Wendy’s Affairs Of The Heart based in Pennsylvania. Wendy is such a sweet and caring blogger! She also writes the lovely blog Bridal Affairs and has joined Polka Dot Groom today to give some handy advice on what to do once you’ve popped the question.

Photo Courtesy of Michael Regan Photography

Ok! You popped the question, she said yes…NOW WHAT?! Well, it isn’t all up to the bride to plan the most important day of your lives. IT’S YOUR WEDDING TOO! Get involved, have fun and help keep the stress level to a minimum! Here are a few tips to help you on your journey:

1. Go to the vendor meetings as much as you can. I’m sure you don’t care if the linens are ivory or hot pink, or if the flowers are daisies or roses, but your bride will appreciate it if you give an opinion.
2. The tuxes are your job! Pick them out, make sure your groomsmen get measured and then make sure they pick them up before the morning of the wedding.
3. Speaking of the groomsmen- you need to buy them a gift.
4. You did a great job of picking out that diamond, but now you have to pick out a wedding band that she will love just as much- oh and a GIFT for your bride to be given to her while she is getting ready to meet you at the end of that aisle.
5. Guys!! PLEASE don’t have a bachelor party the night before the wedding. I can’t tell you how many brides I have had ask me to make sure the groom was sober at the wedding.
6. If you are going to make a toast, it should be at the rehearsal dinner. Your best man should be toasting at the wedding reception. So, get those thank you’s, those sentimental words to your bride and all those anecdotes ready to say the night of the rehearsal.
7. You are supposed to plan the honeymoon. OK- she wants to go to Fiji! It’s your job to make sure that she feels like she did, even if you go to the shore!
8. Suggest a planner- even if just for the day. Your bride will love you for giving her a reason to smile and relax on this very special day!!
9. Start a blog! You would be surprised how many grooms have a wedding blog detailing their own angst about this amazing journey. I love reading them myself. I have worked with many brides, but I love working with the groom too. You bring a totally different perspective to the wedding- one that is just as important as the bride’s.
10. I know that most couples are paying for the wedding themselves nowadays. But, here is the list of the traditional things a groom pays for:

• Rings
• Groomsmen gifts and gift for the bride
• Bride’s bouquet
• All the boutonnieres
• The mother’s flowers
• The license
• The officiant
• The rehearsal dinner is the groom’s family’s party
• The honeymoon
• In the Asian and Middle Eastern traditions the groom’s family gives the wedding

Photo Courtesy of Bill Brokaw Photography

Now that I have given you some food for thought, I will leave you with this– You are starting a new life with a special person. Enjoy the day, enjoy the party, and enjoy the vacation. Then, go home and love and take care of each other. Remember every day how you felt when you saw her at the end of that aisle. Best of Luck to all of you who read this!

Don’t forget to check out Bridal Affairs to see more of Wendy’s tips and tricks!

Just a quick interruption to Groom’s Month today. Nie Nie (Stephanie) is a blogger who writes Love For Nie. She was injured critically along with her husband Christian in a plane crash recently. Both remain in hospital.

The blog community has gotten together (led by Design*Mom) and put together an auction of over 300 products and services to raise funds to assist in Stephanie and Christian’s recovery. Items up for grabs include a custom inspiration board by Kathryn at Snippet and Ink, a Maroon 5 signed guitar and tickets, a chandelier, necklaces, a videography package and a whole lot more. (See the full list here)

Alternatively you can donate your own amount by clicking on the button below.

  Stephanie and Christian have a gorgeous family and young children and my prayers and thoughts are with them at this time.

Kathryn from the gorgeous Snippet and Ink has created four fabulous mini boards for Polka Dot Groom along with some fantastic ideas to help the groom shine! Today we’re sharing the first of her creations with you.

I’m sure that most of the time, the wedding world comes off as incredibly bride-centric, and I hope that these four mini-boards will provide some groom-friendly ideas. I know I’m making some sweeping generalizations about what men like, and I don’t mean to imply that these are ideas that women wouldn’t like, but they are based on things that I know most of the guys in my life would enjoy…

Personality: It seems so often that even if a bride’s personality is able to shine through all the glitz of a wedding, the groom’s personality is lost. Here are some fun ways to let your personality show.

Clockwise from top left
1. Let man’s best friend be part of the day, either as a ring bearer, or simply as attendants. (photo by Joe Mikos )
2. A groom’s cake is a great place to let his personality ring through. This graffiti-inspired one is by far the coolest one I’ve seen - it may actually be the wedding cake, and not a second one for the groom. (photo by Marie Labbancz )
3. Even with the most formal wedding, your save-the-date can be playful and casual, and an excellent opportunity to show of your sense of humor. (save-the-date via Weddingbee)
4. Whether you hire someone to roll them on site, or just have a box of cigars to hand out, they’re a very manly addition to the after-dinner hour. (photo from Oh How Charming!)

Stay tuned to Polka Dot Groom for more from Kathryn and don’t forget to check out Snippet and Ink!

Lets kick off this month with a fantastic guest post from Maria over at the great wedding blog Ritzy Bee. Maria has over 9 years experience in wedding planning so she definitely knows her stuff! And today she has compiled The Groom’s Guide just for you Polka Dot Groom Readers!

{photo credits: Jose Villa}

Though the typical groom is along for the wedding planning ride, there are those out there who are increasingly becoming more involved in planning the wedding.

In the past the wedding proposal might have seemed like the guy’s big role in the wedding planning process but these days, with couples are typically getting married later in life, many couples have established careers and income. The traditional standards of who-pays-what still exist, however many couples end up taking on a significant portion of wedding costs. Where in the past, the bride and bride’s parents were making many of the financial decisions, couples today are often splitting wedding costs evenly and often footing more than 50% of the bill. The groom is likely to be more involved in the planning details with his wallet in the game.

When it comes to helping out…here are seven etiquette tips on what a groom can do to help alleviate the wedding planning stress with the future Mrs.

{Photo credits: Lilah Paper}

1. Ask your attendants

• What? Your attendants will be serving as ushers on the wedding day and will possibly be giving a toast or two so choose wisely!
• When? It’s a good idea to decide and ask attendants and your best man soon after becoming engaged.
• How many? It’s up to you and your fiancée…it will depend on the formality and size of your wedding and on what the two of you feel is the right size.
• What else? Don’t forget you will need to be thinking about gifts for your guys as a {thank you}. Wether it’s a round of golf, cuff links or tickets to a sporting event…try to buy based on their personalities and likes {and something they would actually use}.

2. Help with the rehearsal dinner. If you or your parents are taking the lead with paying, be sure to serve as the liason between your future wife and her future in-laws. Some parents don’t mind be hands-off during the planning of the dinner but some {mothers especially} want the say with decision making. Your bride-to-be will appreciate you voicing opinions and putting your foot down on issues to your parents if needed. Since wedding planning time can be a pretty high stress time, be sure to be a fair referee for both sides!

3.The guest list. You will be responsible for your side of the list…so be sure to work with your fiancée and family on who you want to make the “A” list!

{photo credits; Martha Stewart Weddings}

4.Your attire. You will need to select and communicate to groomsmen what they need to wear, buy or rent! Each groomsmen is responsible for paying for their own garb, unless you decide to cover these expenses. Be sure to decide at least 5 – 6 months out so you have plenty of time to make sure everyone will be in uniform. Consider things like non-traditional attire in the summer months (linen suits, etc) or adding something fun to the mix like colorful socks, etc.

5.Wedding bands. Though choosing the wedding bands should be something you do together, traditionally the groom will pay for these.

6.Paperwork. You are responsible for finding out what marriage-license requirements are and how far in advance you must have paperwork in place.

7.Wedding night & the honeymoon. Typically the groom would be in charge of planning the honeymoon, though you most definitely want to be sure you are making decisions together as a couple! Unless of course you want to surprise her with an amazing getaway…just be sure to keep a close friend or sister involved so they can assist her with what type of packing she might need to do for the location (she won’t want a bikini on a trip to visit the glaciers!)

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{photo credits: Aaron Delesie}

Be sure to check out Ritzy Bee for more inspiration and to thank Maria for her great post!