Image from weddingbycolour.com
It’s the words you imagine saying to your partner … “We’re having a baby!” Instantly the pair of you are filled with overwhelming joy, the ‘can we do this?’ terror and then the realisation kicks in …
“Oh crap! I’m supposed to be a bridesmaid in October!”
Telling the bride there is an extra +1.
When my bestie Aimee asked me to be a member of her bridal party, I was so thrilled! What an honour to stand by her side, as she commits her life to the love of her life, Paul. Having become instant friends during our uni years, we were two peas in a pod, discovering we had so much in common, but also could agree to disagree on other things, namely having children. Never an issue, until of course came the moment I needed to tell her that there was going to be a sizeable baby bump attending her wedding (with her bridesmaid no less!).
As I am living interstate at the moment, I waited until hubby (Chris) and I were going to be down in Melbourne so I could tell Aimee the news face to face. Despite Chris reassuring me that there would be no reason to be nervous, I was petrified to tell Aimee the news! I couldn’t have been happier for myself, but having been married the year before, I recalled the pressures that face brides-to-be, and know that another spanner in the works is often not warmly welcomed.
I continued to picture Aimee coming at me with a carving knife. Not because she doesn’t like children, but because a pregnant bridesmaid (and I mean I will be 6.5 months pregnant) does require some thinking about. I, of course, worried for nothing … there was nothing but hugs and kisses and although I tried tackling the sticky subject of giving Aimee the option to have me step down from my role, she wouldn’t hear of it – what a relief! But did she really know what she was getting herself into???
The do’s and don’ts of pregnant bridesmaid dresses.
Lucky for me, Aimee had not yet settled on a dress for her bridesmaids, and she was very open to input from both myself and her sister (MOH) Michelle. Personally I was more than happy to wear anything and left the majority of the decision making up to the other two – they are such stylish gals, and although neither had been pregnant, I knew that they wouldn’t pick something that would make me feel uncomfortable or look ridiculous in.
With a little help from the salesperson, Aimee settled on a spectacular strapless dress design in Navy Blue. The advice provided in relation to sizing for pregnant bridesmaids was to go up two dress sizes from your pre-pregnancy size – at least this way there is room to alter it to fit if it’s too big (we all know there is nothing worse than a gal squeezing herself into a dress one size too small!).
For brides out there needing some inspiration on choosing a dress for a fellow pregnant bridesmaid, I can suggest the following:
You don’t have to ‘hide the bump’ – regardless of what you might think, if people can see the bump, it doesn’t mean it will detract from your special day – a spectacular bride on her wedding day will ALWAYS trump a bit of tum!
You’re not limited to empire waist lines – whilst these are flattering on all figures, not just pregnant ones, think about an A-line gown, or go for something fitted and slinky to make your bridesmaids feel a bit sexy (again I stress, no one will focus on the bump).
Give some consideration to the underwear situation for pregnant bridesmaids – if the dress you’ve selected requires wearing a g-string, it’s probably not going to fly – they are uncomfortable at the best of times, let alone when you’re pregnant.
Similarly, consider the bra situation – maternity bras have wider straps, so dresses may need to be altered to cater for this.
If you’re buying off the rack, look at ranges that have larger sizes available (not stopping at size eight) or alternatively, if the dresses are being made by a seamstress, consider allowing the pregnant bridesmaid to have hers made last so that you have the best idea of how big she will be.
Always remember … the bride comes first.
One of the most important things for pregnant bridesmaids to keep in mind is that if you and your bride choose to include you in the wedding – you have to put her first! I’m not suggesting that you are not allowed to mention your growing bump and all the excitement you are now finding in researching prams and capsules and birthing options (trust me, they are exciting), but you have to remember that this wedding is to your friend, what your baby is to you! Don’t let yourself get lost in self-involvement, because you may find yourself on the other side of the wedding, minus one friend.
I would like to think that Aimee could testify to my continued interest in her wedding since discovering I’m pregnant. I love her weekly updates that include details about the decision on cakes, guest books, invitations and head pieces and try to make sure that she knows that I am always available for a chat about all or any of the above day or night. Likewise, she has been so supportive of my situation and suggested options to accommodate potential tiredness or soreness I could feel come her wedding day – but we will re-evaluate these closer to the wedding day.
Although not long to go until Aimee’s big day, I find myself caught up in regular bridesmaid duties – planning hen’s nights (just because you’re pregnant doesn’t mean you can’t have an awesome party), finding the perfect pair of stilettos (again, pregnancy isn’t going to stop me wearing heels) and of course working on my bridesmaid body at the gym (I might not be able to do anything about the waistline, but I can assure you all I will have the most toned arms of all! Haha).
So there you have it – an alternative perspective to the pregnant bridesmaid ‘thing’. Stay tuned for Part 2, which will include survival tips for the hen’s night and wedding day!
Ms Gingham says: Pregnancy is beautiful … uncomfortable, sickening, emotional and hormonal yet beautiful. Really, as long as the little treasure doesn’t decide to make a grand entrance during the exchanging of the vows then all should go as planned!
Vanessa says: Inspired by a peaches and cream complexion, chocolate ice cream, bombshells, girly things, vintage wares, loveliness, sunny days, all that sparkles and feeling free as a bird, I love being original.