Let’s get our hands dirty Dotties! It’s time for another Polka Dot Hot Spot (if you have a suggestion for Polka Dot Hot Spot just contact us!)
It’s often said that weddings bring out the best and worst in people and nothing makes my stomach drop more than problems with bridesmaids. From that every first excited moment of asking, to the last hug goodbye- it’s such an involved role, not only for the bride but also for the bridesmaid.
I’ve seen many friendships fall out at weddings (which saddens me greatly) and many confused expectations. One bridesmaid rants that the bride excepted her to pay for everything, leaving her feeling a bit worse for wear, another bride is upset because her bridesmaids weren’t able to help her with any wedding plans. So I suppose it all comes down to expectations. From the get go making it clear what you, as the bride expect and what you, as a bridesmaid can do.
What have you done with your own bridesmaids (or if you’re a bridesmaid, the bride!) How are you handling the expectations of each other? If you had some confusion, how did you deal with it?
In my experience of photographing so many Weddings, I find that during the shoot, the bridesmaids are busy worrying about their own outfits and flowers etc to help the Bride with moving from location to location. This is all justifiable by the way! I tend to do a lot of the flower holding and dress fixing. But what I’ve tapped into lately (don’t know why it took me so long to realise!!) is that the Groomsmen are the perfect candidates for the job. They are usually the most comfortably dressed and mobile. So I get them to hold the flowers, the make up bag, the coats, and lift up the train on the brides dress to help her walk around. And they gladly oblige everytime! Getting the Groomsmen more involved on the day works to everyone’s advantage! We get some fantastic shots of this too.
Dianne from Milestones Photography
Great idea Dianne! I totally agree with this as every wedding I’ve been too I’ve observed the same thing! Girls will be girls I guess!!
I was glad to have my bridesmaid stand beside me, but they really did not do anything for me.
They told me they knew how to do up a wedding dress but they did it wrong and first pull they broke my dress, I had to pick my dress up and carry it, they didn’t help straighten or fix anything up. After the ceremony they all went to get themselves a drink and didn’t even get me one.
If I was to do it again I would either state clearer my expectations of them or I would not have them at all, this way I would have saved myself AU$2000.
Oh Nikki that’s so sad! I agree that maybe we need to be clearer with our bridesmaids as to what we’d appreciate their help with! I’ve noticed some beautiful “Will you be my bridesmaid?” kits that seem to include, together with the invitation to be a bridesmaid, a list of things you’d like their help with. I really think that it’s a great thing to think about when asking your friends to stand with you on your wedding day.
I cannot speak highly enough of my bridesmaids – all 6 of them!! From the expense they went to to be apart of my day (one of my girls lives overseas! Huge effort on her part!) to being involved with my wedding planning via a secret Facebook group as only my maid of honor is local. They even were involved in the setting up of the reception the day before with me before the rehearsal, helping me, making sure I wasn’t too stressed, constantly asking me what more they could do for me. The sleepover after the dinner the night before the with 4 of my 6 was so much fun!! I had a blast! Unfortunately I did wake up with a sore throat on my big day, by breaky the thumping headache had started but my girls had pain killers for me. I was on tablets all day & night but I was determined to push through it, & tried not to show how sick I really was. My girls were fantastic. Such a support, not only on the big day but in the lead up too. They were awesome! I’ve heard back from a few of the girls that they bonded really well & exchanged numbers & txted eachother the day after saying how lovely to was to meet eachother & what a great day they had together. That was really touching! They are all my favorite girls so it was really special to find out they had clicked so well & are going to stay in touch. I’m so pleased! 🙂 I do have the most amazing girls though!! They are unbelievable, the best! 🙂
That’s a really beautiful story Amy. So much love on both ends makes for a very happy group of people! I think that’s what we all aspire to having too! Thanks for sharing!
I told my three bridesmaids from the get go that (as I am a perfectionist) there isn’t a lot I wanted them to do, but I would give them plenty of notice if there was. I told them straight up that they would be paying for their dresses and I would pay for their shoes and jewellery, this was months in advance (my fiance was a groomsman for a friend and wasn’t told until the day before the wedding that he needed to pay $230 for his suit hire – something we have made sure our groomsmen know about in advance too).
My MOH lives 4 hours away, one bridesmaid is always busy and the other is really hard to get in contact with. But all three have been fantastic when I ask if at least one of them can come with me to something or anything else I need help with. All three groomsmen live out of Perth, the closest 1 1/2 hours away and the farthest 16 hours away! But I can say the same for them too, even one groomsman, who wont be coming to Perth again until the wedding, his girlfriend has offered to help out wherever she can.
Only 5 months to go… lets hope they all stay as wonderful as they are now 😉
I have my sister and my best friend standing up with me on my day! My sister got married in April last year, so she is very keen to support me in everyway, knowing how hard it can be. They have both been wonderful in keeping me calm and helping out where they can. As they both work shift work, they’ve been more than happy to do many errands for me while I’m stuck in my office everyday.
Right from the get-go, we sorted out who would pay for what, and they will often come to me to ask for something else to do. I couldn’t ask for better bridesmaids to stand with me on the biggest day of my life!! Only 17 weeks left!! =)