Polka Dot Hot Spot – The Difficulty Of In Laws

by | Polka Dot Hot Spot, Weddings


Polka Dot Bride

Time to pour a cup of tea, snuggle down in your office chair (though really, since when are office chairs snuggly?) and take the time to have a chat. Yesterday, a bride tweeted to me about writing an article about dealing with a difficult mother in law. I thought, rather than write an article, I’d use it for today’s Polka Dot Hot Spot, because really, every relationship is different and the best advice comes from those who have been through it and come out the other side.

Was your mother in law difficult to deal with during your wedding planning? How did you cope with it? What advice would you give a bride to be struggling with it all?

  • Amie says:
    January 12, 2013 at 12:51 am

    Right now, she is difficult with the guest list. His side and my side are splitting the wedding costs half and half, and we are really lucky and grateful for them to give us the wedding as our gift. But because they are paying for the wedding, she keeps adding people to the guest list, and them reminding us of the budget whenever we talk decor or favours. If she stopped adding people we wouldn’t have an issue with the budget!

    When we picked out our venues, and showed them to her, we didn’t even get a smile. Just a nod. It comes across that she would still prefer us to do the whole shebang in a church then a ballroom. Unfortunately, neither are us.

    Just some sort of affirmation that she likes one little bit of what we are doing or planning would be wonderful.

  • Ms Stripey says:
    January 14, 2013 at 8:27 am

    Sometimes I think as parents of the bride and groom, they find it difficult to let go of control of aspects of their childrens’ lives,whether that is through fear of not being as important in their childrens’ lives, or just plain stubborn-ness. I think that it is also a new stage of parents lives, where they must move on to embrace their new roles in their own lives and their childrens’ lives and that takes some getting used to. Some people seem to be able to move aside gracefully, and some seem to fight tooth and nail, by sabotaging aspects of the wedding. Just keep telling them in little ways that you love them as they too are trying to transition to a new phase in their lives.

  • Bubbles says:
    February 13, 2013 at 9:13 pm

    When my fiance and I got engaged my family was super happy for us. But when he told his parents all they said was “as long as you’re happy” and when they saw the ring on my finger, “isn’t that nice”, no congratulations from anyone in his family. It’s almost like they don’t care that their only son is getting married.
    However, his mother has been trying to help me with dresses for myself and my bridesmaids, even though she knows that my mum is the one helping with that. Everything she’s chosen has not suited our garden theme and she doesn’t listen to what I’m wanting for the styles. Its gotten to the point where I won’t even talk about the wedding in her presence.

    • Polka Dot Bride says:
      February 16, 2013 at 9:41 am

      Hi Bubbles,

      I’m so sorry to hear you feel so unhappy. I think sometimes engagements take people by surprise or they just aren’t sure how to react..

      I think your mother in law obviously wants to be involved (hence her trying to help with the dresses, even though she is a little off target). Is there something else you can involve her in? wedding cake tasting? flowers? Maybe she is just unsure how to be a part of it?



We ask that the comments you leave on our site are respectful of each other and the personal stories that are told. We reserve the right to remove any comments that do not fall within our site policies.


Trackback from your own site.