The Proposal: Part 1

by | Groom, Life As A Groom


Scott G Trenorden

Wedding Proposal vinyl wall art decal from Etsy

So, let’s start at the beginning.

It was two and half years into my relationship with Amber and I was feeling the natural push towards permanency; or more succinctly, the urge to let her make an honest man out of me. Valentine’s Day approached and passed, but I tricked everyone with my lack of a proposal – I was even on the receiving end of stern “Don’t you think it’s time?” conversations (aka accusations) from a couple of Amber’s closest friends. While I was smart enough to know that I am in a relationship with a truly wonderful and unique woman, I was waiting for the perfect moment, if there is such a thing. I had a plan!

Amber’s birthday came along but again I didn’t propose. I wanted Valentine’s Day and her birthday to be special for their own reasons. Instead I chose the day after Amber’s birthday to propose. This had two distinctly male-minded reasons; 1) it gave my wonderful gal yet another day for celebration and 2) being the day after Amber’s birthday it was near-on impossible to forget.

I took her out for a lovely dinner at Duende in Leederville, Perth. I had formulated the evening in my mind; yummy food and wine followed by even yummier desserts; me turning the conversation to Amber and I and the puppy dogs and the future, her hanging on my every word; me getting down on one knee, presenting her with a ring and asking her to marry me; Amber saying “Yes!”, as Bollywood dancers explode from hidden doorways and a grand musical theme unleashes its majestic chaos upon the streets of Leederville in an all singing, all dancing cacophonic flash mob of joy and celebration!

The reality, however: Me getting more and more nervous, sweating despite the cool night, looking for the opportune time before mumbling my way through a change in conversation that involved the future, children and… well, I honestly can’t remember. It was a blur. I remember finding myself on one knee, expertly hidden behind a pillar so no one else in the restaurant could see me, pulling a ring from my pocket and asking my true love if she would be my wife.

Amber was laughing and I realised I had pushed the ring onto her finger before she had even said a word. Luckily she followed up with a heartfelt “Yes!” and I was soon back in my seat and smiling like a crazy person.

It was a bit disconcerting that upon phoning my folks (who were in Paris at the time) and telling them we had some wonderful news, my mother’s immediate guess was “You bought another puppy?!” My dad sensed it, though. He was in the background with tears in his eyes and emotion in his voice, “They’re engaged!”


Amber is traditionally a Melbournite – where her family still resides – and the phone calls to her parents would have to wait til morning. It only helped to renew the joy for us to get on the phone first thing the following day and let her parents know the good news!

My one regret? Upon phoning Amber’s father, one of the first things he said was “I don’t believe Scott has asked for my permission.” Which, stupidly, I hadn’t. That surprises me too; I’m often one to revel in tradition of this sort. But for some reason it didn’t cross my mind… Perhaps it had something to do with the fact that at Amber’s sister’s wedding, when Amber ‘caught’ the bouquet, her father turned to me, held out his hand and said “Welcome to the family”.

Regardless gents, in case it has slipped your mind, remember to seek the father’s permission!

So, the Overview:

  • Prepare to be nervous. Rehearse all you want but your composure will no doubt abandon you.
  • Pick a restaurant where you can hear each other talk. Seriously, think about that. She has to be able to hear your words of devotion, fidelity and permanency.
  • In the lead up to asking the question, drink some wine. Make sure your fiancé-to-be drinks more than you.
  • Get down on one knee. Do it. So you might stain your designer skinny jeans, deal with it. Do it.
  • The ring-… Aaah.. the ring. Well that discussion will have to wait til Part 2.

Ms Gingham says: We are so happy to welcome Scott to the blog and we can’t wait to hear more about his wedding planning experiences!

Scott says: “My name is Scott. I’m a 35 year old guy from Perth, WA. I have been writing for a long time, primarily in the novel form. I’m most the way through a Post Grad Diploma in Journalism and mentioned to my fiance recently that I need to do some serious writing. She pointed me towards your website and I thought I’d sign up!”

  • Koren Harvey - Marriage Celebrant Melbourne says:
    January 29, 2013 at 7:27 pm

    Scott, thank you for sharing. After being on the receiving end of a proposal from my beloved Dave not so long ago (I said yes!) it’s lovely to hear it from a groom’s perspective. Congratulations to you and Amber and all the best for the adventures that lie ahead!

  • Carling says:
    January 30, 2013 at 5:50 pm

    I am loving hearing about the wedding lead up from a male’s perspective! Breath of fresh air and I think you have a knack for great storytelling Scott!

  • Scott G Trenorden says:
    January 30, 2013 at 6:02 pm

    Koren, congratulations! And thank you! It has been a rather intense ride and there are only 66 days to go (I get a daily countdown from Amber..).

    Carling, thank you :).
    Amber also says I have a knack for storytelling, but I don’t think she means it in the same way you to…

  • Designing An Engagement Ring | Polka Dot Bride says:
    February 11, 2013 at 10:36 am

    […] on from ‘The Proposal: Part 1 ’ I would like to talk about a most important decision; the […]



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