Your parents have helped you become the person you are today, so naturally you’ll want to acknowledge them on your wedding day and it’s likely they’ll also want to be involved in planning your special day. The latter is where it can sometimes get tricky. There are some obvious ways of involving Mum and Dad, like inviting them along to venue hunting or dress shopping, but there are also other ways to enlist their help.
Before I go any further, I want to acknowledge that for some brides and grooms reading this, you may no longer have your parents or your relationship with Mum and/or Dad is strained and they’re unlikely to attend your wedding. If this is you, I hope you’ll take this advice for the extra special people in your life that would love to play a part in your special day.
The guest list.
It can be a dreaded task but involving your parents with who to invite early in the piece may actually save you more stress down the track. Consider giving both sets of parents an allocation of the guest list, particularly if they’re helping you pay for your wedding. Agree on a number and try to stand firm. If you encounter clashes or they start to stretch the numbers (all with the best intentions of course!), try offering gentle reminders that you’re all working to a budget.
Invite them to a menu tasting night.
A menu sampling night at your reception venue can be a great excuse to get together while ticking a job off your ‘to do’ list. And if your parents happen to be foodies or wine connoisseurs, even better! Involve them in the choices you make. If you don’t have a strong preference for the type of red wine your guests will drink, ask mum and dad for their advice. You may not end up following it, but having some extra opinions may be helpful.
Ask them to plan the post-wedding brunch or lunch.
You’re so caught up in planning your wedding day, you may have forgotten about the day after. The morning after brunch or lunch is a great way of thanking your guests and it also gives you both another chance to catch up with your loved ones. Consider asking your parents to organise this. Whether it be a backyard BBQ or a restaurant booking, it’s one less thing on your list and the ideal project to hand over to Mum and Dad.
Don’t forget Dad!
Our doting Dads can feel a bit neglected in the lead-up to a wedding so finding a job especially for your father is a thoughtful idea. Brides: if he loves his music, why not get him to choose the song for the father/daughter dance – that way it will be even more meaningful. Or if he’s walking you down the aisle, bring him along to the rehearsal to make sure your grand entrance is seamless.
It sounds obvious but in the lead-up to your wedding, it can be easily forgotten. No doubt you’ll thank your parents in your speeches but I also love the idea of leaving a letter for Mum and Dad to open on the morning of your wedding day or when they arrive home that night. In the lead-up to your wedding, there’ll be times when you’ll be stressed, snappy and emotional – just remember, be gentle on your parents. You may have moved out of home a while ago, but your wedding day reinforces for Mum and Dad that their baby has well and truly grown up.
Ms Chinoiserie Says: Such wonderful, heartfelt advice; to lighten your load, there really are many things that Mum and Dad can help with!
About Melissa Polimeni Marriage Celebrant: I love weddings and I love what I do. As a celebrant, my job is getting to know couples and crafting memorable marriage ceremonies – and that’s always such a pleasure and privilege.