No two relationships are the same and no two people experience love the same, and it’s this fact that most people don’t realise during the early stages of their relationships.
We’ve all experienced the ‘honeymoon’ period and have our doses of butterflies, endless back and forth text messages and the all consuming thoughts of our object of desire, however when the lust starts to subside and real love begins to develop is when most of my clients seek out my services.
Why? Because real love can be scary.
Don’t assume it’s only woman who have pre-wedding freak outs, because I can testify that nearly half of my clients are men experiencing them too.
The most common anxieties and fears that I hear from my clients surrounding their wedding (and relationship) focus on questions such as:
* What if they aren’t the one?
* What if they’re not my ‘soulmate’?
* Why don’t I get excited as much anymore?
* What happened to the butterflies?
* I want the ‘spark’ back
* Do I love them enough?
* What if one day I don’t find them attractive?
* What if I ‘fall’ out of love?
* Have I made the right choice?
* What if they change?
and so much more
Any of these sounding familiar to you? Rest assured you are not alone if they do because it’s completely healthy (and normal) to have these questions roaming through your mind when you’re going through one of life’s biggest transitions.
Part of my job is to listen to how people really feel in the lead up to their marriages and allow them to feel that way without being embarrassed, ashamed or even guilty.
I focus on relationships because it has come to my attention that most people don’t feel comfortable talking about how they truly feel in the lead up to their wedding day. This may be due to fear of the potential response, fear of judgement, fear of having to explain their feelings to friends/parents and their partner (when they might not even understand them themselves!), fear of having to let go of old beliefs and the biggest fear of having to surrender ones need for control.
Getting married is a big deal! It is letting go of single hood, letting go of yourself and entrusting your goals, dreams, ambitions and your heart into that of one person – forever. It is without a doubt (in my opinion) a time when you are expected (and most certainly allowed) to experience moments of doubt and hesitation.
If you are one of the men/woman experiencing pre-wedding jitters or engagement/relationship anxiety please remember you are not alone, and it’s a lot more common then you think.
Ms Gingham says: Hugely normal at many big occasions in your life as a couple. Communication (which is harder than we sometimes think) is the key.
Megan Luscombe of Starting Today Coaching has just launched a workshop specifically designed for these women who might be experiencing what’s essentially a normal reaction to a major life transition. These seminars will take place nationally with the next one occurring in Melbourne on July 27 at the Rydges Melbourne.