There are two things worth remembering when planning a wedding. One, is that unfortunately, not everything is going to go to plan on the day. Something will go missing (hopefully not the rings), someone will come down with a flu the day before, and the weather… Oh God, the weather.
Two, you can’t please everyone.
Engaged couples, hear this. At some point you are going to have to make choices that your new father-in-law, partner’s best school chum, or neighbour’s dog is going to be upset about. It’s part of planning a wedding, and it means that the people that love you and are invested in your happiness want the day to be just as amazing as you want it to be. Sadly us humans all have different ideas of what an amazing day is and sometimes they don’t match.
Which is where bridesmaids come into things. Of course your mother wants her best friend’s daughter to be in your wedding party, since weren’t you two the best of friends when you were five? She still has that photo of you both on the slide wearing matching overalls! How cute. No! The wedding party (note: I’m not saying bridal party, we’ll get to that) is the one place I recommend drawing a line in the sand and keeping it your nearest and dearest.
Why? The wedding party are your peeps. They’re the ones who will be there when you’re getting ready with a glass of champers (if that’s your thing), who will calm your nerves and reassure you, who will tell you if you have food in your teeth before being photographed more than you ever have in your life, and who will be standing by your side as you tell the most intimate part of your life- who and how you love- in front of a crowd of people. Don’t you want a solid team around you for that?
If they’re not true to you, they’re not for you.
So try a little compromise. Say yes to Mum on the bonbonierres, so you can say no to her on the bridemaids.
Or… take a fresher approach. Ditch the bridesmaids, and pick a couple of names out of the hat during the ceremony as witnesses. That’s it. No bridesmaids, groomsmen, no gender roles. A fresh, modern wedding. Or have two blokes (who just happen to be your besties) as your bridesmaids. See?
If all else fails, ask your mother who was in her wedding party. Odds on she is pictured standing next to her sister, her best friend, and… the daughter of the best friend of her mother.
About thecelebrantsmith: Tania Smith is the celebrantsmith – a refreshing, new way of doing weddings. Tania originally married couples in 2007 in the hard n’ fast world of the Victorian Registry Office, and is now back in the marryin’ game. Tania started the celebrantsmith to bring a totally fresh approach to weddings, not too daggy, not cheesy, and definitely not corny. Too many couples see the ceremony as a necessary evil, a boring legal bit before getting on to the party with family and friends. But Tania proves you can create a memorable and snappy ceremony, focusing on the story of you, and one that your guests will love.
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